Yashudan, Galactic Year 10 013: Pernna's Story
Note: The views expressed in this story are not, nor have they ever been, the views of it's author. The author means no offense to those who do believe and hopes he has presented your views respectfully.
It's with a lot of pride I step into the biggest church in Oullan, my home planet, ready to start the rest of my life as a priestess of the Church of Eran and a servant of Jarrell. I know it's a hard road but I'm prepared for whatever comes my way.
I remember the first time I came to church as a child, and all I wanted to do was be as pure in the name of Jarrell as I possibly can. The priestesses of the Church of Eran are the purest people imaginable and I am going to be one of them.
"Where can I find the high priest?" I ask one of the priestesses. She directs me to his office.
I approach the high priest and say "I wish to become a servant of Jarrell." He looks me up and down, stares at my breasts for a moment and says "Okay." I felt a little violated but who am I to judge a high priest?
We walk into a room full of drawers. One of the priestesses opens up one of the drawers and says "This should fit you. Change." Everybody walks out of the room and the door locks.
Once I'm naked the high priest steps in and says "Yes, you have promise." He walks up to me, removes his robes and starts to kiss me. I don't kiss him back and he becomes even more forceful, so I kiss him back but my heart wasn't in it.
He pins me down and rapes me.
He leaves in a hurry and I lay there crying.
I hear the voice of the priestess outside and she says "Put on your robes!"
I start off working kitchen detail with other prospectives. They're all talking as though nothing terrible happened to them recently. I ask them "Did you gals and the high priest ever..." "Ever?" "Did anything happen between you?" "No, nothing of note. Why, you?" "He... Had his way with me." "He had his way with you!?" "That never happened to any of you?"" "No, never." "I feel so... Violated." "Why? You should be happy." "I should be happy!?" "He chose you."
I'm in the high energy zone for the first time in my life. It is the dimension in between our world and that of the divine. We go here to feel and enhance the magic.
The high priest says "Follow your heart." I step into the middle, all the elements but two on the floor in front of me. To the west is a dark hallway, to the east is a light hallway. I feel a force calling me to the west. "No!" "You said follow your heart." "A true priestess following her heart would bring her to the east. You are not a priestess!" He slaps me on the back of the head several times." "Try again!"
This time I wander to the east, I remember the things the high priest is capable of. I feel defeated. I feel like I'm being moulded. "Better."
I'm given a day off from training and I decide to visit my mother and father.
I tell them... "I didn't realize what being a priestess would mean. I feel like... I feel like maybe I should drop out and come home." My father says "If you drop out there's no coming home." "...Daddy?" "This family is of the light. This family follows the Church of Eran." "I can still follow..." "No. You made a commitment. You will see it through." "Mommy?" "I'm siding with your father. When you left I was so proud. Don't make me ashamed." "I... Okay. I love you."
I spent the night at my parent's and left for the church in the morning.
When I return to the church I return to the news that the high priest has been made a bishop. He summons me to his chamber.
"Ah, Pernna, pure little Pernna... I have to say you're coming along." "Thank you sir."
"I've decided to give you the honour of being my concubine. This is a high honour for only the best." I say "I... Thank you sir" but on the inside I'm crying for help. Maybe this way I can one day become a high priestess, but... But...
I'm cleaning dishes when I hear his bell. I come to his door... "Yes, master." "Come." "Yes, master."
I'm praying when I hear his bell. I come to his door... "Yes, master."
I'm taking my break with the other priestesses when I hear his bell. I come to his door... "Yes, master."
Every time I come my voice gets less and less alive.
I'm in the high energy zone, this time all by myself.
I'm sitting on the floor between light and dark. I feel the dark calling to my soul even clearer than it already was. I remember the pain, I remember the rape, and I know drifting this way is not an answer.
But I feel like I'm getting hardened. Am I really "pure" like the bishop says? Maybe I used to be, but I don't think I am anymore. I need to play the part, though, I don't know what would happen to me if the bishop suddenly found me "unpure."
Sex just doesn't do anything for me anymore. I never really had the perfect sexual experience and now I've gone straight to not caring for it at all. But I still must.
I can tell in the tone of his voice when he says "come" that it's not doing much for him anymore either, he's become a nymphomaniac. He calls to me like it's a bodily function, something he just has to get out of the way to go on with his day.
I hear his bell again. "Yes, master" I say emotionless. "Come" he says emotionless.
And again. And again and again.
I hate him. I've never wished death upon anybody before.
The other priestesses are crying outside the bishop's door. "What's the matter?" "The bishop has fallen ill." "...Oh." "I'm sure this will affect you the most, seeing how close you are." "...I suppose." "You're his girl, he loves you." "...I love him too." "We'll leave you alone with him."
"Hello, master." "Pernna... So pure..." "I'm... Not that pure." "And so humble." "What can I do for you master?" "I understand your appetite for sex, but I'm afraid I just don't have the energy." "Yes master." "Let me rest." "Yes master."
I'm in the high energy zone again. I realize that I've become extremely powerful over the years, more powerful than most. I think maybe the galaxy needs me, I owe it to the galaxy to become even stronger, some day it may matter.
I can't believe I let myself be victimized like this, seeing how powerful I am. I'm more powerful than the bishop and yet I let him...
I can no longer let him...
The illness will take him eventually, but I need it to be me, and I need him to know it was me.
I snuck into the infirmary and found his medicine, and I switched it with another medicine which if the same dose is administered should cause a serious adverse reaction. It should look like a mix up.
I go to his room before the nurse comes to administer his medication. She comes in and sticks it in the IV while I force a serious face.