Under the Cherry Blossoms
note: the following story will be dubbed in English.
My name is Tada and I live in Tokyo. I always wanted to be just like Gackt, but unfortunately I had no talent so the best thing I could do is model my appearance after him. I used to want to be Gackt, but I have discovered there's one thing cooler than being a pop star and that's being a gangster. Oh and I smoke a pack a day, it makes me even cooler.
I'm a high school student by day and drug dealer by night. I mostly sell MDMA but I can get you whatever you want. Dealing molly has made me very popular in high school. Everybody either looks up to me or fears me. Or both.
My favourite hangout is the arcade. I do a lot of business there. Something about all the noises and flashing lights really lends itself well to abusing molly.
Today I met one of my classmates, Yua. I already kinda knew her but I didn't really get to know her until tonight.
We shared laughs and played video games. She's a wizz at Dance Dance Revolution, to be honest I kind of sucked, I was bringing the team down. Of course she's good, though, she says she wants to dance and sing for a living, and I think she can do it.
After a little I asked her if she wants to really learn how to appreciate this place and these games by taking some molly, she agreed, it was her first time but she's always wanted to try it. We closed the place down that night and then we went back to my family's house and... Had relations.
The next day me and her were passing notes in class...
She asks "Wanna go to the arcade tonight?" "I can't, I have a poker game with my colleagues." "Can I come?" "I doubt it. A girl may ruin the vibes. Plus you really don't want to get involved with those people." Well you're one of those people and we're involved." "...Touché." "I think it's exciting to date a gangster. Especially since my father forbids it." "Your father forbids us?" "My father doesn't know about us. And he's not gonna."
I'm at a poker game with some of my colleagues. As usual I'm winning, and eventually I get drunk enough to start telling stories about Yua. While I'm talking the boss goes to the bathroom, and thank God he did, because I started telling some really dirty stories about what we did.
One of my colleagues says "Yua Hayashi?" I say "Yeah, how did you know?" He says "I know her, she goes to your school, yes?" "...Yes." "Shit. You're in shit." "...I am?" "You didn't think about the last name, Hayashi?" "What about it?" "Don't you know any other Hayashis?" "...The boss?" "Bingo. I know for a fact his daughter's name is Yua." "She... Shit." "Don't you dare say a word to the boss about this, and that goes for the rest of you too."
I'm outside my school chatting with a friend when a limousine pulls up. The window goes down, it's Mr. Hayashi. He yells out "Tada! Get in the limousine."
I'm sitting across from him and he's even quieter than usual. Staring at me. He doesn't look angry, he looks... Strict. Even more so than usual. After awhile we arrive at the club house. He tells me "You know when you're yakuza you can do anything you want. That's what everybody thinks. But they sometimes forget there's one thing even they can't do." "...Oh?" "Let's go inside."
There's three of our guys sitting at the table. One of them has a katana. Mr. Hayashi says "I wanted you dead, but I was convinced you're just a kid, so I should go easy on you." "I... I... I..." "Put your hand on the table. Make a fist. Stick your pinky finger out." "O-Okay..." And there goes my pinky finger.
The next day at school I told Yua a poem I wrote her...
The world opens up for us when we are in love
In this city of millions we are the only ones
God shines on our love and will forever
Our love is forbidden
I lost part of my body for you
You're worth more than a finger
I would lose much more
"They took your finger? I don't believe daddy..." "He was talked down to taking my finger. He wanted to kill me." "Well I'll set him straight." "No you can't tell him anything." "But he needs to stay out of my life." "He'll say he has every right to stay in your life he's your father and he thinks he's doing right." "I can't believe you're defending a man who chopped off your finger." "I'm not defending him..."
At the Friday night poker game with my colleagues. Mr. Hayashi isn't there. Says it'll be awhile before he can see my face again.
I tell one of my friends things are going well with Yua despite Mr. Hayashi. He tells me "Don't you understand? You didn't give your finger for the ability to keep dating her. You need to break up with her now or next time it'll be your head." "But we're in love. I can't just... Stop seeing her." "Then you're a dead man." "Then I'm a dead man."
"Look... I can help you, but you'll need to leave. I can get you a safe house in San'ya." "He won't find us there?" "Not unless I tell him." "Great, thanks." "You should probably leave soon."
The next day in school I tell Yua "Tonight you don't go home to your parents. Tonight you go to a new home with me. You have to choose between me and your family." "I... I... What?" "You have to choose right now." "Well..." "Don't you see what I see?" "I do see! Okay, fine, I choose you."
First thing to do in our new home is take molly and sex.
Afterwards Yua tells me "I was never good enough to be a professional singer and dancer..." "Don't say that! You'll be great." "I mean I can hold a tune but there's nothing great about my singing. And I can step on pads but my dancing skills are really just average. It was just childish dreaming..." "Well you don't need to worry about your future, I've got us covered..."
"I wrote you another poem..."
We have nothing but future
But we have strife
We will defeat all odds
We will run from those who wish to stifle our love
We will run from the world
Love will triumph over everything
Love is the only thing that's real
She tells me "I... I need to go home." "Well, you need to put that behind you." "I need to ho home because I need to finish my education. Now that I'm not going to be a singer." "You don't need it, I'll take care of you." "I can't live with the idea of being a high school drop out." "If we go back I'll be killed!" "You can't hold me emotionally hostage with guilt like that." "Don't you understand!? I'll be fucking killed!" "Well, I'm just thinking about it, you don't need to go back." "But the only reason I can't go back is because of you. I don't want to lose both my life and you. You're the only thing I can hang on to I gave up my life for you." "I'm just thinking about it..."
The next day we go to see the cherry blossoms. Besides Yua they're the most beautiful thing. We don't say a lot, we just exchange looks of love and of sorrow. I almost cry, then she almost cries. I say "We're going to get through this. You don't need to go back..." She turns her head quickly and whimpers.
That night, after I fell asleep, she flees.
I got a job gutting fish down the road from my apartment. Day in and day out of mundane labour, no excitement of being a gangster, no love in my life, just working. Just working for nothing. Gutting fish after fish, it's kind of zen, but my zen also came with a deep melancholy.
Sometimes when I gut a fish I think of Mr. Hayashi, I'd like to gut him. I'm ashamed to say sometimes I even thought of Yua, who took my vulnerable heart and crushed it all for her education. Her education... It's not important, love is important. My resentment grows deeper and deeper and after two months of this life I knew I couldn't do this forever, if I was going to do this forever I may as well be dead.
So I go back to my old neighbourhood, I don't care if it's dangerous, at least it's somewhere I can be alive.
I go to Mr. Hayashi's condo. He answers the door. I say "You! How could it be!? How could it be that fate made you my lover's father!? Is it some kind of cruel joke!? Why... Why would it have to turn out like this." He says "Tada... I'm sorry." I say "Good. I was hoping that would be your last words." And I shoot him dead. I walk into the condo,
Yua is sitting at the dinner table, stiff as a board and scared out of her wits." I say "Don't you realize we could have had everything!? You didn't need to throw it all away... And for all things for your education. You don't need your damn education." She starts to cry. I shoot her dead too. I look at her mother and wink, then I shoot myself in the head.