Those Who Watch and Whisper Secrets
Note: When Awaken to the Universe is up this will go there under a write up about our brother and cousin races. TWWAWS are not our brothers or cousins but I'll do a write up of a few races that are unrelated as well. Until then this will go on my personal page as you must know how much I suffer. Honestly it's made me a better person, I have a much higher tolerance to stupidity now.
Floating around in white space, outside of a universe. The winners of the 2D universes...
They are the worst thing to ever exist. I mean that literally, and I don't say literally when I mean figuratively. They're more stupid and annoying than Hitler was evil. They are worse than Hitler. They are worse than anything that has ever existed. You think I'm joking I'm not joking.
God set me up with them because I was the man to deliver to them the news that while they think they are the best, they are actually the worst. I have always hated the pompous retard more than anything else, and they're the biggest pompous retards to ever exist. I was meant for them.
Their brains are stripped down because they don't get oxygen, food or water. Don't let yourself feel sorry for them.
Their brains are very simple, they can't compute things we do on a daily basis. To wonder something is to believe in that thing, to believe in something is to know it as fact. I first noticed this when I was walking up to a trafic light. I was thinking "stay green," it didn't stay green, they said I was "all into green." They thought I said "green yes" when the reality was "green no."
If I admit it's possible it's no, that means it is no, that means I am no, that means I am stupid.
Using the word "or" means one of these things is no.
They have one level of emotion, and it's set to freak out. Then when I freak out they pretend they're all calm. Just so they can be the worst.
They can't tell the difference between what would have been and what is.
A few times I was thinking a random mundane thought with a regular normal amount of emotion and they say "CALM DOWN" for no reason.
Just randomly thinking a normal train of thought and out of noewhere a "STOP!"
If I think to myself I'm going to do something, then I decide to do something else, or something like that, I get an "Are you KIDDING ME!?" and an "Idiot!" Something yes something no. I yell at them for being stupid and they say "sure." I tought them sure. I said it to my parents once and they latched on to it and now every time I correct them it's "sure."
A lot of times I get an "idiot." If I say something positive and then something negative, what I said was "yes no" and I am "all into yes" and I am an "Idiot!" And when I point out that isn't the case I get a "sure" and sometimes get a "stop"
When I think two things at the same time, they don't understand, so it no, so I'm an "idiot!"
Back when I first had them in my head, I couldn't find my keys. I eventually found them and one of them said if I were perfect I would have gone right to the keys. This was around the time I first noticed they were stupid.
I had a dream the 14 bus went down Sharp, then I woke up and was all "Where does the 14 bus go? It's not Sharp." Then "Does it go down Ferry?" And they said I was all into "Notsharp" it's actually "Ferry."
I was thinking about sqirrels and they say "SHUT UP!"
They latch on to something for extended periods of time but if I think about them being stupid for more than five seconds it's "stop."
When I make fun of them with a "you would think ____" they think that means it IS ____.
When I'm talking to Jerridic and he isn't aware of something humanity related, it is no. They think Jerridic is always correct, and if I say something that Jerridic isn't aware of, that thing is no, and I am dumb.
I thought to myself the soup smells good, but the smell was weaker when I remembered to show Jerridic, so Jerridic smell am no, then soup smell am no. Now it means it doesn't smell good.
I was looking at a humming bird and I said they so fast. Then I said and they kinda hover. That means I was all into they so fast, it's actually they so fast and they kinda hover. When you say something is a thing you need to say all the things that that thing is.
Then they make fun of me for having an emotional reaction to them.
I got mad at them, as one would, and one of them says "You're embarrassing yourself."
I told them they were infuriating, and one of them is all "Why are we infuriating?"
When I was pissed at them one of them said "stop whining."
I was explaining to them how they're stupid and they called me a "big baby."
If you haven't already read The Astral Plane Compass, you can share your senses with people. So I was giving Jerridic all my meals instead of letting them have them, and they called me selfish.
They do have enough self awareness to know they should kill themselves. I promised them their own terraformed moon, out of the way, with silicon brains that can actually function. The only catch is they have to kill themselves. So they are floating into the "giant flaming pie saucer" as God has called it. There's still quite a few hanger oners though.
Had they just followed what God named them and whisper secrets to eachother instead of letting me hear them they would have been beautiful, but that wouldn't have been right.